xyzgc
02-08 01:50 PM
Hi,
I been a member of IV for a long time and just to keep myself anonymous for a while I created this account. I am so sorry for opening a thread in a completely irrelevant forum but I have no idea what to do. So, I request all the members to please help me by providing some kind of information.
Here is my story:
I came to US in 2002 and completed masters and been working since then. I got married couple of years ago. Whatever the monetary gifts the girls parents gave as part of the marriage, I put all that in an account on the girls name within 2 days of the marriage. We came to India and from then on the problems started. She and her parents want me to separate from my parents and support their family by sending money to their parents which I couldn't do. How can I leave my parents in their old age when they worked very hard to give a decent life. She has been harassing me mentally for this all the time. Recently her parents have been threatening me saying they will file dowry case in India if I don't send money or cut myself off from my parents. I provided for the girl in all possible ways, even encouraged her to join school to get a masters degree which she stopped soon. We had a baby recently and my parents visited us to help us with the baby. She started harassing them too by saying something or other.
I am very frustrated at this situation and I don't know what to do. I am on H1B and applied for 485 too. At times I feel like applying for divorce but when I think about my little baby I am not able to take that step. The house we currently live in, I bought long before the marriage. It came to a situation where we cannot live together. I cannot ask her to go out of the house because she doesn't have anywhere to go and with the baby even if she leaves, it will be very tough. I said I will leave the house and stay in a apartment for which she threatens to commit suicide. So, I don't know what to do. I am worried about my baby because between all this my baby's life will be spoiled and I don't want that. Can anyone please tell me what I can do in this matter?
Thank you very much for taking time to read this.
When you hear incidents like this, its always like "girls are too much". On the contrary, when we hear of wives being beaten up by "educated husbands" boys are too much. This is all silly really.
I have heard some indian females complaining all the time how males tend to dominate everywhere its not really true. In a relationship, anyone could be a dominant partner - male or female. Dominance also means responsibility and taking initiative. So its not all that bad. And it is certainly not a male prerogative!!
Your case is a clear case of "external interference". Divorce is not a solution to cases like these. Its not like you are not getting along. You relationship is spoiled due to unwanted interference. Convince your wife that you and her always come first. You cannot make your parents happy at the cost of displeasing her and also the other way round.
Stop trying to diplomatic and stop being a family-pleaser. If you don't like something, say it clear and upfront rather than pussy footing around it. I found that diplomacy does not work at all. It only sends wrong signals and eventually you end up putting a firm foot down, anyways.
Get rid of the elders from your life. It means don't allow parents/siblings from either sides to interfere at all in any decision making. Get the inputs but make it clear its a joint decision made by husband-wife and they have no say in it. Don't allow your parents/in-laws to stay with you more than bare minimum necessary for the new-born.
If it means making some career sacrifices, so be it. Its your baby and you need to take care of it finally.
Retrospect - analyze what has gone wrong. Today, you find your wife is all wrong and you are all right but when you do the retrospect you'll find its not like that, in fact its never like that. Humans make mistakes and we must accept that.
Stop sending money to parents and in-laws, if its possible. Otherwise, maintain parity by sending money in small amounts to both parents. Its stupid to say my wife is not working so she has no business to send money to her parents. Its so wrong and I'm surprised folks can think like this. Marriage is about sharing and even a child will tell you that. If the in-laws are any sensible they won't accept gifts from the son-in-law but its for them to decide.And stop receiving any gifts from either sides.
If you are in the US, don't go to your home country unless its an absolute must. I found that every time I go there family and relatives end up giving tons of unsolicited advice. The intentions are good but I have to keep saying no (diplomacy doesn't work at all) and that gets very annoying eventually.
Finally, if you have a career oriented working wife there are advantages to it. Its better to work instead of being a hopeless housewife.
Yes, it also means you can't take things for granted but that's no reason you should end up with a sweet, traditional house wife who'll no longer be that way when hopelessness sets in.
I been a member of IV for a long time and just to keep myself anonymous for a while I created this account. I am so sorry for opening a thread in a completely irrelevant forum but I have no idea what to do. So, I request all the members to please help me by providing some kind of information.
Here is my story:
I came to US in 2002 and completed masters and been working since then. I got married couple of years ago. Whatever the monetary gifts the girls parents gave as part of the marriage, I put all that in an account on the girls name within 2 days of the marriage. We came to India and from then on the problems started. She and her parents want me to separate from my parents and support their family by sending money to their parents which I couldn't do. How can I leave my parents in their old age when they worked very hard to give a decent life. She has been harassing me mentally for this all the time. Recently her parents have been threatening me saying they will file dowry case in India if I don't send money or cut myself off from my parents. I provided for the girl in all possible ways, even encouraged her to join school to get a masters degree which she stopped soon. We had a baby recently and my parents visited us to help us with the baby. She started harassing them too by saying something or other.
I am very frustrated at this situation and I don't know what to do. I am on H1B and applied for 485 too. At times I feel like applying for divorce but when I think about my little baby I am not able to take that step. The house we currently live in, I bought long before the marriage. It came to a situation where we cannot live together. I cannot ask her to go out of the house because she doesn't have anywhere to go and with the baby even if she leaves, it will be very tough. I said I will leave the house and stay in a apartment for which she threatens to commit suicide. So, I don't know what to do. I am worried about my baby because between all this my baby's life will be spoiled and I don't want that. Can anyone please tell me what I can do in this matter?
Thank you very much for taking time to read this.
When you hear incidents like this, its always like "girls are too much". On the contrary, when we hear of wives being beaten up by "educated husbands" boys are too much. This is all silly really.
I have heard some indian females complaining all the time how males tend to dominate everywhere its not really true. In a relationship, anyone could be a dominant partner - male or female. Dominance also means responsibility and taking initiative. So its not all that bad. And it is certainly not a male prerogative!!
Your case is a clear case of "external interference". Divorce is not a solution to cases like these. Its not like you are not getting along. You relationship is spoiled due to unwanted interference. Convince your wife that you and her always come first. You cannot make your parents happy at the cost of displeasing her and also the other way round.
Stop trying to diplomatic and stop being a family-pleaser. If you don't like something, say it clear and upfront rather than pussy footing around it. I found that diplomacy does not work at all. It only sends wrong signals and eventually you end up putting a firm foot down, anyways.
Get rid of the elders from your life. It means don't allow parents/siblings from either sides to interfere at all in any decision making. Get the inputs but make it clear its a joint decision made by husband-wife and they have no say in it. Don't allow your parents/in-laws to stay with you more than bare minimum necessary for the new-born.
If it means making some career sacrifices, so be it. Its your baby and you need to take care of it finally.
Retrospect - analyze what has gone wrong. Today, you find your wife is all wrong and you are all right but when you do the retrospect you'll find its not like that, in fact its never like that. Humans make mistakes and we must accept that.
Stop sending money to parents and in-laws, if its possible. Otherwise, maintain parity by sending money in small amounts to both parents. Its stupid to say my wife is not working so she has no business to send money to her parents. Its so wrong and I'm surprised folks can think like this. Marriage is about sharing and even a child will tell you that. If the in-laws are any sensible they won't accept gifts from the son-in-law but its for them to decide.And stop receiving any gifts from either sides.
If you are in the US, don't go to your home country unless its an absolute must. I found that every time I go there family and relatives end up giving tons of unsolicited advice. The intentions are good but I have to keep saying no (diplomacy doesn't work at all) and that gets very annoying eventually.
Finally, if you have a career oriented working wife there are advantages to it. Its better to work instead of being a hopeless housewife.
Yes, it also means you can't take things for granted but that's no reason you should end up with a sweet, traditional house wife who'll no longer be that way when hopelessness sets in.
wallpaper hairstyle since they spell
jchan
06-11 10:18 AM
"Therefore, without legislative relief, the waiting time for Indian EB2 applicants may be measured in years, even decades."
In a weird way, I feel this is good news. An old saying in China says 'Things will turn to their opposite at their extremes'. The moment before dawn is the darkest hour of the day.
In a weird way, I feel this is good news. An old saying in China says 'Things will turn to their opposite at their extremes'. The moment before dawn is the darkest hour of the day.
apet2007
03-10 11:18 PM
You must be a permanent resident to open or own an S-Corp. An LLC is the best way to go and if you are not engaged in actual sale of goods, you can register this LLC in Nevada and pay no corporate taxes. I've done it. All income then passes through your own filing. Have a CPA and I strongly recommend you do this. Registering a NV LLC only costs $195 annually. Go to incorpservices.com and it will walk you through.
2011 Low Updo Hairstyles
indio0617
03-08 12:29 PM
Beppen, I joined the conference a little late and heard of Sen. Brownback's amendments for extension of J1 visa rule and no cap for nurses/physical therapists in H1. They will reconvene at 2.00 again and present more amendments if there are any
Hope this helps
Nothing happens when I click on the capital hearings link.... ? Is it on c-span too.?
Hope this helps
Nothing happens when I click on the capital hearings link.... ? Is it on c-span too.?
more...
gc_wow
03-05 11:10 AM
My case did not recieve a LUD
smc
07-23 09:45 PM
Am surprised that there is no communication from IV Core on this.
more...
satyasaich
07-14 04:37 PM
Please please come forward .
$5 is truly a small amount but can make a big difference, only if all of us contribute
Reasonable begining for this, but can be done more.
Please support IV
$5 is truly a small amount but can make a big difference, only if all of us contribute
Reasonable begining for this, but can be done more.
Please support IV
2010 Labels: Loose updo hairstyles
p_aluri
09-10 03:53 PM
Contributed $200.00.
Here is google order number : 775559432259797
So far I have contributed $400.00
Great work guys..
thank you sxm101, nosightfgc for contributions.
Here is google order number : 775559432259797
So far I have contributed $400.00
Great work guys..
thank you sxm101, nosightfgc for contributions.
more...
royus77
07-06 07:05 PM
They can potentially avoid a law suit by making the revised July VB ( version 2) released today ?Any thoughts
hair Trendy Blonde Hairstyles for
ANGEL
07-30 02:04 AM
Icedgin,
I was not married to her when she got her green card.It is even more difficult if we wait for family based petition, so we decided to get it through EB3, which at that time the sched A was very much highlighted.I am also ff any ammendments offered but to our dismay,the battle is even more uphill.She works in ICU and she said that it is undeniably true that shortage of nurses is everywhere.Am sure our wives are also suffering just as bad.Hope none of the lawmakers have to wait in ER becasue the nurse who is suppose to look after her/him is still waiting for his visa. this American dream is just taking its toll on a lot of people.It is very frustrating.
I was not married to her when she got her green card.It is even more difficult if we wait for family based petition, so we decided to get it through EB3, which at that time the sched A was very much highlighted.I am also ff any ammendments offered but to our dismay,the battle is even more uphill.She works in ICU and she said that it is undeniably true that shortage of nurses is everywhere.Am sure our wives are also suffering just as bad.Hope none of the lawmakers have to wait in ER becasue the nurse who is suppose to look after her/him is still waiting for his visa. this American dream is just taking its toll on a lot of people.It is very frustrating.
more...
jonty_11
07-06 01:05 PM
He is a excellent lawyer it seems , may be i'll hire him ...
What is his name , is he/she a AILA member ?
Wahtever this may be..lets hope this is also not a rumor like the VB July Fiasco turned out not to be a rumor.
What is his name , is he/she a AILA member ?
Wahtever this may be..lets hope this is also not a rumor like the VB July Fiasco turned out not to be a rumor.
hot Brittany Murphy#39;s loose updo
santb1975
05-24 01:44 PM
:confused:
more...
house 2011 Celebrity Updo Hairstyles
Edison99
04-18 09:10 AM
Congrats eb3july2003! Enjoy freedom....
tattoo prom updo hairstyles 2011 for
trueguy
03-03 12:01 PM
I don't think EB3-I would be U for more than a month, as I keep saying this year EB3 would be getting some share of spill-over. So even if it becomes U for April that would be temporarily and it would return back in May.
Thank's
MDix
MDix,
What spillover for EB3 you are talking about? Based on how they interpreted the spillover law last year, EB3-I can't get any spillover until EB2-I and EB3-ROW is current and thats decade away.
I am just trying to get the facts. I am not against EB3-I as I myself is EB3-I and waiting for my turn since last 7 years.
Thanks.
Thank's
MDix
MDix,
What spillover for EB3 you are talking about? Based on how they interpreted the spillover law last year, EB3-I can't get any spillover until EB2-I and EB3-ROW is current and thats decade away.
I am just trying to get the facts. I am not against EB3-I as I myself is EB3-I and waiting for my turn since last 7 years.
Thanks.
more...
pictures celebrity updo hairstyles. a
hopefulgc
05-25 01:34 PM
Santb1975 is right.
If we stopped trying every time we failed we would not be here, we would still be in the caves looking for the next big invention.. the wheel.
Hell, if your folks stopped trying, you wouldn't be here in the first place.. hope you catch my drift :)
Every time we work on a bill we move a step forward. We have come a long way in the past 2 years. Some bills came and went and did not bring us any relief but that should not stop us from working hard when we see the next window of opportunity.
If we stopped trying every time we failed we would not be here, we would still be in the caves looking for the next big invention.. the wheel.
Hell, if your folks stopped trying, you wouldn't be here in the first place.. hope you catch my drift :)
Every time we work on a bill we move a step forward. We have come a long way in the past 2 years. Some bills came and went and did not bring us any relief but that should not stop us from working hard when we see the next window of opportunity.
dresses prom hairstyles updos. prom
IAMINQ
04-02 02:36 PM
I received my labor approval in dec 2005 from Philadelphia Backlog Center
Priority Date: March 2004, EB3
Filed from Philadelphia Region.
Priority Date: March 2004, EB3
Filed from Philadelphia Region.
more...
makeup show wearing a loose updo
choppy AKA (in the Army)
01-07 01:48 AM
Check this http://shusterman.com/pdf/obama907.pdf
Obama places more importance on family ties...not on EB categories.
somebody needs to remind him that just because he came thru a family tie...doesnt make it a ideal thing.
wanna be a family guy in USA...& its pitiful.
Obama places more importance on family ties...not on EB categories.
somebody needs to remind him that just because he came thru a family tie...doesnt make it a ideal thing.
wanna be a family guy in USA...& its pitiful.
girlfriend jessica alba updo styles.
chanduv23
08-03 11:16 PM
^^^^^^^^^^
Please navigate to the following threads and do the action items
http://immigrationvoice.org/forum/showthread.php?t=11694&page=2
http://immigrationvoice.org/forum/showthread.php?t=11962
Please navigate to the following threads and do the action items
http://immigrationvoice.org/forum/showthread.php?t=11694&page=2
http://immigrationvoice.org/forum/showthread.php?t=11962
hairstyles Hairstyles: The Updo
diptam
07-06 02:35 PM
More important is the last 48 hrs where they processed 25000 cases
AT-WILL.
Ohh this guy has a good first name - 485 granted.
Ohh this guy married twice,needs money - 485 granted.
Ooh this girl doesnt look good - 485 denied.
Ooh this girl has excellent looks - 485 granted.
Ooh This couple stayed EUROPE not so loyal - 485 denied.
and so on and so forth....
They were/are so busy approving cases that they donot have time to update the message. Everyone from Janitors to Execs have been working for the last week to approve those 66K cases.
AT-WILL.
Ohh this guy has a good first name - 485 granted.
Ohh this guy married twice,needs money - 485 granted.
Ooh this girl doesnt look good - 485 denied.
Ooh this girl has excellent looks - 485 granted.
Ooh This couple stayed EUROPE not so loyal - 485 denied.
and so on and so forth....
They were/are so busy approving cases that they donot have time to update the message. Everyone from Janitors to Execs have been working for the last week to approve those 66K cases.
sledge_hammer
03-04 05:31 PM
One last question, if you don't mind.
I assume yours is a conventional loan, how much equity do you have on your home, and how much down payment did you make on your home purchase first time?
I didn't pay any points. I locked in two weeks back and closed this week. Lender is a local bank in Mass.
I assume yours is a conventional loan, how much equity do you have on your home, and how much down payment did you make on your home purchase first time?
I didn't pay any points. I locked in two weeks back and closed this week. Lender is a local bank in Mass.
ganguteli
03-06 04:02 PM
Congrats everyone getting soft LUDs
No comments:
Post a Comment